November 18, 2006 The All-seeing Eye Is Staring
I’m profoundly traumatized by the universe. There’s no other way to be. Everything that comes out of my mouth becomes a war and in the end my colors are ragged. There are no victors. Everything said melts back into the causal waters.
Every motion becomes meaningless. Every line contains a certain truth.
I’m beginning to think that despite my huge fear of pretty much everything, the only thing I can really do is tell the truth about what I’m experiencing instead of pretending to be brave or right. It might seem easier to cram everything into little boxes, little filing compartments, but in the end, I’m only convincing myself of something that isn’t ultimately true. I’m only looking back into myself.