March 13, 2007 Satanic Vampire Runs For President, Is Investigated by Secret Service
seriously, I hardly need to even bother with commentary on this one.
Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey, a 42-year-old New Jersey man who is running under the Vampire, Witches and Pagan Party, is currently being investigated by the Secret Service for potential threats toward President George W. Bush.
According to Sharkey, Secret Service agents visited him and his 19-year-old wife, Spree, in Ohio on Feb. 15. The visit concerned Sharkey’s repeated remarks about impaling Bush, an act Sharkey said he would only do if he were elected president.
yes… yes I know, I’m also tempted to make a comment about a 42 year old dude who thinks he’s a vampire and his 19 year old wife… but I’m restraining myself. See? You can see the restraints, right?